I have always struggled with consistency. Well. Not always. As a child I was obsessive about my passions, with seemingly endless reserves of energy, curiosity, and creativity to channel. I was constantly writing poems and short stories, and reading books that I was sometimes too young to even understand. I would be outside everyday, eager … Continue reading Consistently Inconsistent
Category: Diary Entry
Clarity (Sort of)
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com I had a really bad day last week. The kind of day that left me feeling angry, and helpless, and sad all at once. It took several days to feel some semblance of normal. I'm still on thin ice. But for all that, it did give me a reality check. … Continue reading Clarity (Sort of)
I’m still alive
Hey, internet. It's been a minute. More accurately, it's been about six weeks. Yikes. I can't speak in too much detail about how these six weeks have gone, partly owing to the fact that it'd give too much away about me and my work, and partly because I honestly don't remember. I think we can … Continue reading I’m still alive
Intentional Insomniac
I have become scared to sleep. Not because of night terrors, or nightmares. Not because of the anxiety dreams that sometimes (though with increasing consistency, now) plague my nights. But because sleep has begun to feel like lost time. Wasted time. Any moment where I am not at work is bliss, and to sleep feels … Continue reading Intentional Insomniac
Small Comfort
Jan 4th, 2013 10:57:21pm I am not a magician, but I know how to make myself disappear. I can vanish. Whenever I want. In broad daylight or in the cover of dark nights. I can go away and never be seen again by those I do not want to be seen by. They will never … Continue reading Small Comfort
Life is Good
Sept 24 2012 I am currently sitting at one of the computers in the library of my university. That feels strange to say. My “university”. It would not be exaggeration if I said there have been times when I thought I’d never make it this far, both in terms of my life expectancy and the … Continue reading Life is Good
Aug 1st, 2012 4:39:00am I’m not really sure what to say here. I’m not really sure why I’m even here to begin with, on this page, talking about my uncertainty about things that don’t matter. Maybe I just need an outlet. A stream of conscious thought to flow out of me so my head doesn’t … Continue reading
“Don’t Over-think, Just Do.”
Jul 8th, 2012 9:19:50pm Since I was deemed “officially a lady” and “too old to be mucking about outside” a few years ago, I’ve been limited in what I can and can not do, and how often I can do them. I went from being outdoors everyday jumping around, playing sports and even just making … Continue reading “Don’t Over-think, Just Do.”
I Am Lost Tonight.
May 4th, 2012 3:48:00am This is my light. This blog is where I post of hope, of strength, of one-day freedom and the lessons learned in between it all. This is where I write my way to the truth within me. Yet tonight’s truth is that I am weary. Emotionally, as well as physically. And … Continue reading I Am Lost Tonight.
To the Truth
Mar 10th, 2012 12:18:00pm I shut people out. Simple present, not past. It’s not something I had been doing in the time that I have been missing from this place, it’s what I do. I shut people out. I have built walls so high that the terms “expressionless” and “uncaring” are often used in conjunction … Continue reading To the Truth
